September 22, 2017

Bill Clinton wrote a novel?

The headline at EW — and linked at Drudge — is "Bill Clinton's first novel to become a Showtime TV series in major deal."

But I guess it depends on what the meaning of writing a novel is:
The former president and bestselling author James Patterson have selected Showtime to adapt their upcoming thriller, The President Is Missing.
Is the title a clue to who wrote the novel?
The novel, set to be published in 2018, tells the story of a sitting U.S. president’s mysterious disappearance with the level of detail that only someone who has held the highest office can know.
So Clinton at least told Patterson some details. Am I supposed to know of Patterson? I had to look up his Wikipedia page. It says:
Patterson has written 147 novels since 1976. He has had 114 New York Times bestselling novels, and holds The New York Times record for most #1 New York Times bestsellers by a single author, a total of 67, which is also a Guinness World Record. His novels account for one in 17 of all hardcover novels sold in the United States; in recent years his novels have sold more copies than those of Stephen King, John Grisham, and Dan Brown combined. His books have sold approximately 305 million copies worldwide.
I guess it's well established that this Patterson character can crank out a book. Clinton aligns with him to feed him some supposedly special details of life as a President or (even more conveniently) to allow the PR to say he did, and it's no surprise studios and networks vie for the privilege of throwing money at them.
“Bringing The President Is Missing to Showtime is a coup of the highest order,” said Showtime president and CEO David Nevins. “The pairing of President Clinton with fiction’s most gripping storyteller promises a kinetic experience, one that the book world has salivated over for months and that now will dovetail perfectly into a politically relevant, character-based action series for our network.”
A kinetic experience lubricated with months of drool? Sounds delicious. 

71 comments:

rehajm said...

Clintons are great at fiction.

eddie willers said...

I knew he wrote bad mysteries, but I had no idea he sold so many books.

I guess he's the Thomas Kinkade of publishing.

buwaya said...

Never heard of Patterson.
Which is pretty weird for me, come to think of it.
My eyes must have glazed over scanning unappealing titles.
Not his audience I guess.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

The President Is Missing.

Based on the golf ball gif, I'd say he's not missing.

RJ said...

I don't think Patterson does much writing now. When I see his books in the stores, there's usually a "co-author" name on them. Given the way these things usually work the famous author probably only contributed edits and suggestions.

jaed said...

I've heard credible accounts that Patterson has a ghostwriter. So this would be what... ghostwriter's ghostwriter?

(Technically this new novel is not a ghostwriter arrangement, since he's listed as co-author, but kinda close. It's going to be billed as Bill Clinton's novel.)

Beldar said...

"A kinetic experience lubricated with months of drool? Sounds delicious."

Wait, what? Are we talking about a Monicagate book and movie now?

David said...

"Is the title a clue to who wrote the novel?"

Droll.

Bay Area Guy said...

Does the fictional President in "The President is Missing," ever drop trou, whip out his Johnson and tell a lowly staff person to "kiss it'?

That would be some edgy writing, there.

The Bergall said...

The jokes write themselves

Sam's Hideout said...

9 movies and two tv series are based on his books, so another tv series is not a surprise.

Hagar said...

Reading Rex Stout's detective novels and short stories from "Fer-de-lance" to "A Family Affair" (53 volumes) gives an interestinng insight into U.S. social history from the Twenties through the Sixties.
I doubt Patterson's output is in that class.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

He should rename it "Still Dickn' Bimbos At Home"

Big Mike said...

A disappearing president is an old idea, actually. The President's Plane is Missing was written fifty years ago. Also the movie "Dave," starring Kevin Klein.

Etienne said...

This all reminds me of giving a Nobel prize to someone, just so they will toe the line after getting elected.

“As such, it did not achieve what the committee had hoped for.” - Geir Lundestad

Clinton is now pressured to have enough T&A to make the whole thing viable for cable.

Will he deliver the spunk?

Virgil Hilts said...

His books are pretty bad, but I really do admire his cynicism. I heard an interview of Patterson (or maybe a profile) 15 years ago. He was working in the advertising/publishing industry and could not believe the crap that became bestsellers.
He quickly realized that with the right formula any halfway decent author could become a success. His first books were about a charismatic African American hunting down serial killers. In one book one of the the serial killer kidnaps multiple beautiful coeds and keeps them prisoner in an abandoned underground former slave quarters.

tcrosse said...

It's another way for Les Moonves legally to funnel Big Media Money to the Clintons, for services rendered or pending.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Patterson's recent hit is Zoo in which the entire animal kingdom goes crazy to kill humans. It is caused, I think, by climate change and our use of electronics. I think that is what I read which is when I realized Patterson is probably a left wing kook.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I'm not much of a Patterson fan, but have read some of his stuff. Lately, we have noticed that he has been churning out books with his name on the title but with other real authors getting second billing and who have actually written the book. Nice work if you can get it. Some aspiring newbie does the work, you get the top billing.

I sincerely doubt that either Clinton OR Patterson have written this latest screed. Some other writer has been ghostwriting for Patterson for years.

With him teaming up with Clinton, guess it is now time to burn the remaining paperbacks. Patterson has lost any respect that he had remaining, and that was damned little anyway.

jwl said...

There were no cell phones or internet when Clinton was president, going to him for insights about the position is going to make the book seem archaic.

Wince said...

For added realism, the several of the pages come stuck together.

whitney said...

Patterson actually makes TV commercials every time he writes a new book, which is about every 6 months. He's a total ham. And his writing is just what you would expect

gbarto said...

My first thought, too, was The President's Plane is Missing. Nothing new here. I've listened to some James Patterson on audiobook. I was going to say the one with aliens but apparently it's a whole series. Wasn't bad, but I won't be rushing out to find the others just because I know they're out there.

johns said...

i read some Patterson novels while riding the train every day. i quit when i got sick of the same story over and over. he has interesting characters, but the virtue signalling is pretty thick. i can see how he would be able to rip out lots of Clinton thrillers, with lots of social justice that feels great.

ngtrains said...

Patterson - his books were ok, but i thought he went off the rails about 10 years ago and i quit him.
Now, I just drop an author as seen as a second 'author' name appears.

Rex Stout - had not thought about him for awhile. When I started my first real job in Cleveland, we had
a fabulous used bookstore (over 1,000,000 volumes, they claimed) and I accumulated most of his books
in hardcover. - for about $2 each. they are fun to read. and a great take on the culture back then.
Never could get into the TV series though.

I'll bet there will be a third author involved for this new one.

ted

MAJMike said...

Will tuna-flavored cigars be involved?

tcrosse said...

I guess it's too much to hope that the fictional FLOTUS will be a lying, power-mad pain in the ass.

D 2 said...

Should have made it a series:

The President is Missing (It)
The President is Digging That?
The President is Dicking That?!?!?
The President is Ducking That

..followed by the 2 extra books after the series is over that no one wants to read:

The Future President is Grabbing What?

The First Lady is Missing the Humor

Sam L. said...

I wouldn't watch it if it were on free TV. I don't get, nor want, Showtime.

Anonymous said...

Ann, Patterson hires people to write his books for him. He lays out the plot then subcontracts the writing. Not great literary technique, but remunerative.

Greg Hlatky said...

Bill Clinton wrote his novel the same way Tom Clancy now writes his.

Paul said...

Bet 'Dollar' Bill Clinton used a ghost writer, like Hillary did. Who knows, maybe Monica.

Bob Ellison said...

Larry Niven, the great hard-SF writer, once wrote an essay (which I can't find online) about how to collaborate with another writer when you're the big name and the other person is a small name or a nobody. Niven implies, gracefully, that for him, it was a matter of what to do with his own ideas that he didn't want to type out all on his own. Some ideas require full-time big-author attention; some need only good collaboration; some merit only that you throw the idea to someone downstream to try to monetize it.

This Clinton novel crap sounds like a new category. The publisher probably went around first, Rolling-Stone-like, looking for a good story along the lines desired, and managed to line Clinton's pockets enough to sign on, and Patterson's novel factory was ready to oblige.

Cynical, I am.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Wrote a novel. No, the thing is to be published in June 2018, so you could apply for the job. The question is, which President will be missing?

A. Bill Clinton
B. Hillary Clinton
C. Barack Obama
D. Donald Trump

Henry said...

George W. Bush continues to age well.

Michael K said...

I'd think sequel to "Primary Colors" would sell better,

buwaya said...

"Larry Niven, the great hard-SF writer, once wrote an essay (which I can't find online) about how to collaborate with another writer when you're the big name and the other person is a small name or a nobody. "

Niven was quite a prolific collaborator, so he would certainly know something about it.

Oddly enough, his most famous collaborator was Pournelle, who was just as great.

He could have been speaking of Barnes ("Legacy of Heorot", which aint bad) and several others which I have not read, and apparently a series with Edward Lerner "Fleet of Worlds" which I have never had a look at.

Valentine Smith said...

Patterson write novels like Warhol churned out tomato can lithos. In fact, Patterson is a tomato can as Johanssen knocked him ouwt back in the day.

Mark O said...

Clinton is always associated with bodily fluids.

Rabel said...

If Bill and Laslo co-wrote a novel, I'd buy a copy.

Freeman Hunt said...

Someone gave me a Patterson book back when, I think, he wrote his own. Three to five page chapters with cliffhangers at the end of each one. I think I read about eight of the chapters to get the idea. That was plenty.

I don't blame him for writing that way though. There's clearly demand for that sort of thing. Nice way to make a living.

Freeman Hunt said...

If people notice that you read, they often give you books. It's interesting to see what books other people like, even if you don't like any of them.

Freeman Hunt said...

As for virtue signalling in his books, who knows if that's in earnest. If you were going to churn out trashy but well-selling books, how could you keep the media off your back? How could you keep them from turning your work into a punchline, hurting your sales?

cacimbo said...

Bought an Alex Cross mystery by Patterson a decade ago. Entire chapter was a Mercedes commercial of soft leather seats cradling Alex as he drove to his local dealership. Since then I find product placement is as common in books as on tv.

William said...

Churchill wrote his early books, but in later life his private secretary did most of the grunt work. Churchill added a few brass fixtures to the finished product, but it was mostly the work of his private secretary. Churchill won a Nobel for literature. That tops Kennedy's Pulitzer as the highest literary prize won for a ghost written book. Obama's memoir is yet to be published. It will probably win every literary prize known to man. Ken Burns will make a twenty part documentary based on it......This seems like a relatively benign way for Clinton to cash in on his name.

Michael said...

2 mediocre talents.

sane_voter said...

I won't read Obama's memoir as I am not into fiction.

gspencer said...

Yeah, sure thing. Bill wrote this novel like JFK wrote Profiles in Courage.

Big Mike said...

Yeah, sure thing. Bill wrote this novel like JFK wrote Profiles in Courage.

I doubt he did much more than add his name and a couple details (as you come up the stairs is the Lincoln Bedroom on your left or on your right?), and maybe s couple flourishes. Still, aside from adding her name thst's probably as much as Hillary added to her latest work of fiction, What Happened.

Kelly said...

His Alex Cross novels are a great beach read. Chapters are short, the pacing is fast, it's what I take on vacation with me.

khematite said...

Just what publishers have been doing since time out of mind. Publish best-selling potboilers to pay for poorer selling literary masterpieces. Next year's "The President is Missing" will repay Showtime several times over for this year's little-watched but generally acclaimed "Twin Peaks: The Return."

eddie willers said...

this year's little-watched but generally acclaimed "Twin Peaks: The Return."

I watched it. Seventeen wonderful hours.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Patterson was the most prolific author in the late, great Borders when I worked there, except for the unbeatable Nora Roberts. Never cracked open a volume by either. Or Dan Brown, for that matter. (What do you do with a man who thinks "Da Vinci" is a surname? If he'd written it about Lawrence of Arabia, would it have been "The Of Arabia Code"? I mean, to be fair, we musicologists do this with Pierluigi da Palestrina, calling him "Palestrina," but we don't write novels or (with one huge exception) operas about him.)

Sydney said...

Just read an excerpt of one of his novels on Amazon. Amazing he can sell so many books like that. He must be a marketing genius. I've read better books written by a cat.

narciso said...

I skimmed through David garrows never ending bio of Obama, that ignored mostly every significant controversy in his career.

Bix Cvvv said...

If Bill Clinton had not acted the way people who may or may not be rapists act, his wife would be President. So there is that. I have never been tempted to read bad novels. Some of us are lucky that way.

GRC said...

UW Madison connection - James Patterson and his wife Sue (UW '79 and '82) are donors to UW. They support at least one nursing student scholar each year. https://www.supportuw.org/news-post/james-pattersons-badger-spirit/

lezlies said...

"If I Did It" by Bill Clinton

William said...

Hillary is cowriting the last season of GoT with George Martin. Spoiler alert: We will discover what a wise,experienced leader Cersei is and what a loud mouthed, evil braggart Daenerys is. In the end Cersei vanquishes zombies, dragons, and the Dragon Queen. Cersei marries Jon Snow and they live together happily ever after.

Yancey Ward said...

"I watched it. Seventeen wonderful hours."

I finally got around to watching the last two episodes finishing about 30 minutes ago. It ended about the way I expected it to- ambiguously.

Given what Lynch has said in the past about art, I think it was probably unwise to expect him to give the viewers a satisfying and easily understood conclusion. I think it was 18 wonderful hours, but then I have been a long time David Lynch fan, so I wasn't really blind-sided by the ending. The ending does serve the purpose, though, of allowing a continuation in some form should Lynch want to do so.

MadisonMan said...

Also the movie "Dave," starring Kevin Klein

Bill Clinton probably thinks he's like the substitute President in that movie, rather than the actual lothario President in the movie that is a better match for Clinton's persona.

Hillary is no Sigourney Weaver, that's for sure.

walter said...

"the story of a sitting U.S. president’s mysterious disappearance with the level of detail that only someone who has held the highest office can know."

Oh..I bet he was good at disappearing himself.
Never doubt a Clinton's ability to sell access.
Hil's book is doing disturbingly well...imagine the demographics responsible for those salivations...frothing.

Robert Cook said...

"Patterson's recent hit is Zoo in which the entire animal kingdom goes crazy to kill humans. It is caused, I think, by climate change and our use of electronics. I think that is what I read which is when I realized Patterson is probably a left wing kook."

Why would you think such a thing? Patterson is simply grinding out the sausages--with the help of others--and, as climate change is "a thing" right now, it's natural he would contrive a scenario using the premise. It's all grist and sawdust for the mill. He might well next write a book in which an evil cabal of scientists in hidden lairs conspire to take control of the world by selling a false hypothesis of climate change, leading to all sorts of rote subterfuge, skullduggery, etc. (You know...fiction!)

Robert Cook said...

I'm surprised at those here who have never heard of Patterson. His byline is all over the shelves at airport bookstores, and he actually appears in television commercials flogging his latest, uh, "thrillers."

Quaestor said...

A Quaestor Exculsive

Downloaded from directly from the Little, Brown and Company in-house server, here is the official trade synopsis.

The nation's first female POTUS, Hope Cahill Hilton, is gearing up for her re-election campaign. Though narrowly defeating one-term President Daniel Clamp Hope's career in the White House has moved from strength to strength, winning over all Americans of good will to her side. Having solved all social problems having to do with racism and sexism, Hope announces the theme for her next term of office — repeal of the Second Amendment, thereby joining America to all other civilized nations that restrict possession of firearms to agents of government. Needless to say, Hope's plan does not sit well with the few remaining deplorables with the resources to do something about it. Consequently, a cabal of cashiered military officers and the executive committee of the powerful lobbying group, ARM (Americans with Rifles and Machine-Guns) conspire to kidnap Hope and her math prodigy daughter Brooklyn while making a goodwill tour of Caribbean islands ravaged by climate-change intensified hurricanes.

Fortunately, the kindly but befuddled Vice-President Maurice "Slo-Moe" Slidell, is ably assisted by the youngest (and sexiest) Director of the FBI in the history of the Agency, ex-fighter pilot and Harvard LLD, Jane Armstrong. Together they unravel the intricate conspiracy and rescue Hope Hilton from certain death in a pit full of woman-eating spiders.

Quaestor said...

His byline is all over the shelves at airport bookstores, and he actually appears in television commercials flogging his latest, uh, "thrillers."

Persons of taste and discernment always consult their watches while passing airport bookstalls, thereby assuring a restful in-flight nap.

Quaestor said...

Or Dan Brown, for that matter.

The first time I encountered any of that rot was in a WSSmith shop at Heathrow, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail by BBC documentary writer, Henry Lincoln. Having lately seen John Boorman's Excalibur, I thought, why not? Should hold my interest for the next seven hours and fifty-five minutes. Not quite. Somewhere south of Reykjavik I shoved that preposterous trash into my carry-on. I think I still have it foxing away on some neglected shelf. Ironically I first encountered The Da Vinci Code at Hudson's in JFK. One could hardly miss it. There was a literal wall of those tepid tomes six feet high and six wide. I didn't bite, thank god, having learned to bring a choice book from home rather than making a regretable airport purchase.

JAORE said...

I'll bet the sex scenes are dull and sad....

Marc in Eugene said...

Michelle D T, I only recently (perhaps in July?) 'discovered' Pfitzner's Palestrina-- "Nun schmiede mich, den letzlen Stein/ An einem deiner tausend Ringe,/
Du Gott- und ich will guter Dinge/ Und friedvoll sein." Such beautiful bass and tenor parts, such beautiful singing throughout! What a wonderful work that would be for the Oregon Bach Festival, if it recovers from the ongoing debacle.

Ken B said...

No-one who has walked into a bookstore in the past 20 years can fail to have seen his books on display. I have never read any but I did dislike a couple of movies enough to learn to avoid him.

Michael said...

If a book has Clinton's and Patterson's names on it, that's two people who didn't write it on the cover.